Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?

Share your funny stories.
Post Reply
smworker1
Posts: 56
Joined: Sun Sep 13, 2009 7:10 pm
Location: Oakley, CA
Contact:

Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?

Post by smworker1 »

You may have heard this one before, but it's still funny.


Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?





Here is a little test that will help you decide.





You're walking down a
deserted street with your wife
and two small children.

Suddenly, an Islamic
Terrorist with a huge knife
comes around the corner,
locks eyes with you,
screams obscenities, praises
Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you...

You are carrying a
Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot.
You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you d o?


Democrat's Answer:

• Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
• Does the man look poor or oppressed?
• Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
• Could we run away?
• What does my wife think?
• What about the kids?
• Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
• What does the law say about this situation?
• Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?
• Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
• Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
• Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
• If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
• Should I call 9-1-1?
• Why is this street so deserted?
• We need to raise taxes, have paint & weed day.
• Can we make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
• I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
• This is all so confusing!


..........................................
Republican's Answer:

BANG!



......................................



Southerner's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG ! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Click..... (Sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG!
BANG!
BANG!
Click

Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy!'
'Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?! '

Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!'

Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!
Post Reply