A Few Quickies - No Subject

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JJCJR
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Joined: Sat May 07, 2005 7:54 am
Location: La Mesa . CA
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A Few Quickies - No Subject

Post by JJCJR »

Three things you'll never hear a redneck say:
The tires on that truck are too big.
I thought Graceland was tacky.
Duct tape won't fix that!

What's the last thing you usually hear before a redneck dies? "Hey, y'all ... Watch this!"

I saw two dogs walk over to a parking meter. One said to the other, "How do you like that? Pay toilets."

Do you know about the two TV antennas that got married? The wedding was terrible, but the reception was terrific.

Do you know what you get when you play a country song backward? You get your job back, you get your house back, your wife back, your truck back ...

A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender says, "You're quite a celebrity around here. We've even got a drink named after you." The grasshopper says, "You've got a drink named Steve?"

Not Fade Away

Old accountants never die, they just lose their balance.
Old musicians never die, they just get played out.
Old lawyers never die, they just lose their appeal.
Old daredevils never die, they just get discouraged.
Walt Disney didn't die. He's in suspended animation.

Q: Why are dogs such bad dancers?
A: They have two left feet.

What's wrong with lawyer jokes?
Lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else seems to think that they're jokes.

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One cannibal turns to the other and asks, "This taste funny to you?"

Q: How many egomaniacs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One. The egomaniac holds the light bulb while the rest of the world revolves around him.
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