Joke for the married guys

[Rob Cummings]

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the
passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't Feel like it, I
just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT????! ! ! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to
hear."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough
for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my
puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I
do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep. The
very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her.
We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big department
store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very
expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her
we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new
clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the
jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.

Let me tell you, she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave
short of a shipwreck! I started to think she was testing me because she
asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.


I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey".

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier".

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,
"WHAT??? ! ! ! "

I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for awhile.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to
satisfy your shopping needs as a woman. "

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why
can't you just love me for who I am and not for the THINGS that I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either...

[basstamer]

A M E N ! ! ! !