Bass anglers need to adjust to the heat

After work the other day I looked at the temperature; it read 113 degrees!

Naturally, that started to make me wonder about the possibility that tree huggers might be right, maybe the world is getting hotter. Could it be that in the very near future that Alaska will become the bass capital of the world?

If the world is getting hotter then we bass anglers need to prepare ourselves. Here are a few tips that might help.

1 Learn how to cast from under a bimini top.
2 Purchase sweat absorbing clothing.
3 Demand better and longer lasting deodorants.
4 Forget about sunblock, wear lots of clothes.
5 Push for the development of clothes with microscopic freon lines to keep the angler cool.
6 Buy a cabin cruiser with air conditioning and flip from a porthole.
7 Find stained water with a shallow thermocline, and jump in.
8 Have a seat – inside your ice chest.
9 Design crankbaits to hold a cube of ice instead of using scents.
10 Freeze your baits before heading out.
11 Wear big hats with long bills so we can make fun of you.

These are just a few tips for the upcoming climatic shift we will be experiencing. But, there is more we can do.

We need to build solar powered bass boats that can run two to three miles up the Delta at the blazing speed of four miles per hour. We need to have one-passenger tow vehicles that run on fermented boysenberries. Why? I don’t know, it sounded good and I’ll bet it would smell great.

Of course, since we are facing a global meltdown of catastrophic proportions, we must understand the need for self preservation. The UVA rays will be bombarding our skin, playing havoc with our health and our rugged good looks.

Avoiding the sun and using a quality sunblock will be helpful, but having the right clothes may make all the difference.

A Canadian company is getting ready to introduce a new bikini that has sensors built-in to warn the wearer when they’ve had too much sun. I just hope they come out with jeans and tournament shirts with sensors soon because most of the anglers I know just can’t pull off the whole bikini look. Think about that, Kent Brown in a bikini – I would have to stop bass fishing and take up the exciting sport of curling.