OPERATING SYSTEM

[brushhogxxx]

Dear IT HelpDesk:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to
Wife 1.0.

I soon noticed that the new program began
unexpected child-processes that took up a lot of space
and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into
all other programs and now monitors all other system
activities.

Applications such as BachelorNights 10.3, Basketball 5.0,
BeerWithBuddies 7.5, and Outings 3.6 no longer runs,
crashing the system whenever selected. I
can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while
attempting to run my favorite applications.

I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend
5.0 , but the 'uninstall' doesn't work on Wife 1.0.

Please help!

Thanks,
"A Troubled User"


REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that people
complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 5.0 to
Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and
Entertainment program.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is
designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!!

It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and
to return to Girlfriend 5.0.

It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the
program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 5.0 because Wife 1.0
is designed not to allow this. (Look in your Wife
1.0 Manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child
Support) .

I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work
on improving the environment.

I suggest installing the background
application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software
augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command
C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give
the APOLOGIZE command before
the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very
high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support
programs, such as Clean 2.5, Sweep 3.0, Cook
1.5 and DoLaundry 4.2. However, be very careful
how you use these programs. Improper use will cause
the system to launch the
program NagNag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way
to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase
additional software. I recommend
Shopping 2.1 and Jewellery 5.0

WARNING: DO NOT, under any circumstances, install
SecretaryWithShortSkirt 3.3. This application is not
supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause
irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,

IT HelpDesk