Larry is in BIG trouble now

[Dan McKenzie]

Larry, a loving husband, was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary and his wife was really ticked off at him.

She told him, "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds flat, AND IT BETTER BE THERE."

The next morning, Larry got up really early before work.

When his wife woke up a couple of hours later, she looked out the window, and sure enough, there was a small gift-wrapped box sitting in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, she put on her robe, ran out to the driveway, and took the box into the house. She opened it, and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Larry is not yet able to have visitors.

[Ken C.]

Priceless! I wonder if Larry is the same guy that rescued the frozen skunk with his wife. . .

A man and his wife were driving home one very cold night when the wife asks her husband to stop the car. There was a baby skunk lying at the side of the road, and she got out to see if it was still alive. It was, and she said to her husband, "It's nearly frozen to death. "Can we take it with us, get it warm, and let it go in the morning?"
He says, "O.K., Get in the car with it."

"Where shall I put it to get it warm?"

He says, "Put it in between your legs. It's nice and warm there.

"But what about the smell?"

"Just hold its nose."

The man is expected to recover, but the skunk she used to beat him with died at the scene.