When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
**Sacha Guitry **
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
** Hemant Joshi**
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
**Socrates **
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
**Dumas **
The great question... which I have not been able to answer... , 'What does a woman want?
**Sigmund Freud**
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
** Anonymous **
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
** Henny Youngman **
I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.'
**Sam Kinison**
'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.'
** James Holt McGavran**
'I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'
**Patrick Murray**
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
** Nash **
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
** Anonymous **
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
** Henny Youngman **
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
**Rodney Dangerfield **
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
** Milton Berle **
Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
** Anonymous **
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he
received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'
**Anonymous**
First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'
Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.
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