Jay Leno: "And Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner announced he is not going to resign. He has suggested he might be leaving and getting a job in the private sector, but thanks to his economic policies, there are no jobs in the private sector. So I guess he's going to stay. You know, I don't know why Geithner would even quit being Treasury Secretary. It's got to be an easy job, especially now, since there's no money in the Treasury. I mean, you don't even have to lock the door. Yeah, leave it open."
Conan O'Brien: "You know the big story, the stock market dropped 600 points because Standard & Poor's downgraded our rating from AAA to AA. On the bright side, Pat Sajak is willing to sell us another 'A' for $2 trillion."
Jimmy Fallon: "Man, America's credit rating took a real hit this weekend. On Friday night, the US actually lost its AAA status. Or as Joe Biden put it, 'What happens if I get a flat tire?'"
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