i was told i could not go fishing today!!

aNNieNsaLTIE · Post by **aNNieNsaLTIE** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 10:06 am

i told the WIFE, "I'm going out tomorrow" she says," no"..i can not get use to fishing once a month or once every other week. This is not me! I do not gamble, drink, smoke, or attend night clubs..what the hell! I just need my time.. what do you guys tell the wives?

saLTIE-

Hollywood · Post by **Hollywood** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 10:08 am

get a new one?

Gator · Post by **Gator** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 10:12 am

Don't let her tell you no. Did you find out why or are you just gonna settle for listening to her? I got a call last Friday to fish a tournament this coming weekend, looked over at the wife and said "Write it on the calendar". Case closed.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 10:13 am

I'd probably tell here there isn't much of a market -- for a divorced middle age mother of 2!

I guess that's why I am not married!

R. Duzac · Post by **R. Duzac** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 10:17 am

You could do what Brad Paisley said "I'm gonna miss her"
Country song if you don't listen to country.

Or the politicaly correct method is to make a callendar.
Put fishing dates on it.
Put Wife/Dinner Dates on it.

I have to work on the second one too. Most of us do.

There is a balance and you need to find it!

Good Luck
Rene

RipnRog · Post by **RipnRog** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 10:18 am

Well there are 2 things you can do. Do like Gator said and tell her your going and if she says no tell her that is not an option.

This one works everytime. set your clock for you wake up time like say 5:00 am. when the alarm clock goes off roll over to her wake her up and say sex or fishing 9 times out of 10 she will say wear your life jacket and be safe. The other time is wort missing the morning bite and if you do a good job she will let you grab the late morning bite.

Rodger

Lance · Post by **Lance** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 10:18 am

First, you need to establish who the boss is, man up!!!!!!!!!! If thats not working, move to plan B. Start messin with things that are hers, clean house...your way, start throwing things away like ....baskets

. Pace back in forth in the house, act like your going to explode from tension. Pick an argument over really stupid stuff, she'll tell you to get out of her face. Something tells me your not going to plan a fishing trip so get in a argument the day before then TELL her your leaving to go "think". Either that or buy your wife a horse....you'll never see her

Its important to make sure your wife sees the "change" BEFORE you go fishing and AFTER you come back. Act like a pressure cooker BEFORE you go and come back all CALM and easy going......she'll put 2 and 2 together

Also chicks like "date night" for what ever reason who knows

so make sure you have one of them

brambo0311 · Post by **brambo0311** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 10:20 am

I came home and the wife said if you tie me up you can do anything you want. So I tied her up and went fishing. I have allot of free time now. No seriously my honey do list is killing me, and aparantly I dont do enough. And when I do spend time with the wife it isnt quality so it doesnt count or some crap like that. I think im gunna just disapear one day.

Joe W. · Post by **Joe W.** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 10:27 am

aNNieNsaLTIE wrote:i told the WIFE, "I'm going out tomorrow" she says," no"..i can not get use to fishing once a month or once every other week. This is not me! I do not gamble, drink, smoke, or attend night clubs..what the hell! I just need my time.. what do you guys tell the wives?

saLTIE-

You need to man up and start wearing the pants and not the skirt!

ttb31183 · Post by **ttb31183** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 10:29 am

My girlfriend only gets mad when I go fishing without her. Thats a good problem to have. She loves it as much me. Fin d a girl who likes to fish, they are out there!

Hollywood · Post by **Hollywood** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 10:29 am

i would go with Tom's suggestion!

TomLeogrande wrote:I'd probably tell here there isn't much of a market -- for a divorced middle age mother of 2!

I guess that's why I am not married!

fishyd · Post by **fishyd** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 10:37 am

I have found that as long as I cut checks I can go any time. The way I have been fishing latley I will be selling the boat soon. Really though I let her know what my schedule is way in advance. She is now aware that I have a floating wife in the shop. I just take her and the dog swiming every sunday when I get back and it is all good.

brambo0311 · Post by **brambo0311** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 10:38 am

Just say I have to work overtime and it might take a day or two. And Im taken the boat and dog.

Calistar · Post by **Calistar** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 10:41 am

lol...by all the replies, looks like you struck a nerve with this topic.

I sat down with my wife and had a long conversation years ago. I told her that fishing made me happy. It was a great outlet for stress and that it was healthy (fresh air and all that). I also told her that I would support her hobbies (shopping, girls night out, and shopping

).
That we both needed our own individual hobbies AND activities that we did together. She agreed that it was important. Seems to work for us...we've been together for over 27 years and I fish whenever I want.

Hollywood · Post by **Hollywood** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 10:46 am

you can also tell her your girl friend doesnt mind when your going fishing!~

crawdaddy · Post by **crawdaddy** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 10:54 am

I used to have this problem. Then I realized I was asking my wife for permission to go fishing, I stopped asking. The next time I said I am going fishing tomorrow, when she said no I replied that I wasn't asking her I was merely informing her so she could plan accordingly. You are an adult working person in a free world, act like it. If she puts up a fuss then simply state; If I am not fishing I am also not _____. Fill in the blank with her favorite planned event for the 2 of you. (shopping, her company Christmas party, her parents house etc..) Marriage is about give and take. Make it so in yours.

Steve Reed · Post by **Steve Reed** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 11:04 am

jeez you guys all just tell your wife what your doing and let her have no say, ur the man....wearing the pants as you call it, yeah sounds like a great marriage

brambo0311 · Post by **brambo0311** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 11:31 am

Just tell the wife its a give and take relationship. I dont care what the wife does after she mows the lawn and makes dinner.

So dont give me crap about fishing.

Phil Burgess · Post by **Phil Burgess** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 11:33 am

i feel 4 you i just lost mine the same way just tell her you are going and hope she is there when you get back!!!!!!!!!!!!1

JustinD · Post by **JustinD** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 11:51 am

Okay tbb31183...lets just see how many fisherwomen there are out there...Please speak up if your here. Sounds like dead silence on this one. In my review of my single life since moving to the delta I have found out that I have more relationships in the winter and as soon as the weather warms my eyes start to wander and my Basscat once again settles in as the "ol' lady".

Gator · Post by **Gator** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 11:52 am

Steve - you've got it all wrong. What I was saying is that you tell them you are going and if there is a VALID reason, you listen to it and make your decision. Early on in my marriage, I used to ask for permission and more often than not she would come up with some BS reason for me not to go. So I stopped that practice!!

Lance · Post by **Lance** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 11:55 am

What till my wife see's this thread, she'll have plenty to say.

Hollywood · Post by **Hollywood** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 11:57 am

Lance wrote:What till my wife see's this thread, she'll have plenty to say.

coming from the man whos wife owns the truck that pulls "their" Ranger, te he he he

Auggie Dog · Post by **Auggie Dog** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 12:03 pm

Saltie,

Although my wife of 18 yrs does not come out and say no....I sometimes get the "look" usually followed by that eerie silence usually found in a "B" horror movie just before the babysitter goes up the dark staircase to see who is hacking up the screaming kids.

When we were younger, it used to be a battle for free time to spend together. Between hunting, fishing, drinking with your buddies....it didn't leave much time to spend with her. I now have to make sure I stock up on "mommy time" if I know there is a day of fishing on the horizon other than the two weekend days a month I get for free. I usually try to spend more time with her during the week after work and on the weekend days I don't want to fish. Then, when I am ready to plan a day and I get "the look"....I point out how many nights I have spent with her and weekend days when my friends were out having fun, I was with her at the Wal-Mart getting toilet paper and the new Carrie Underwood CD she wanted.

I also throw a number at her once in a while to mix it up like.... how many hours I have put in at work in the last few weeks and I need to spend a day on the lake to clear my head. This works great for me since I have a job that allows me to put in as many hours as I want to. If I know I have a tournament coming up or know the frog bite is heating up on Clear Lake, I just put in a few monster weeks (65-70 hrs usually does it) at work just before the days I need. This not only allows me to throw a BIG hours number at her when the time is right, but it also gives me the extra cash on payday to pay for gas and swimbaits!!!

I know this sounds like I am playing her but don't kid yourself.....they play us all of the time. And the sad truth is, most of the time, we don't even realize it!

Marrige is a give and take deal....she GIVES you grief about wanting to fish and you TAKE it because you said those two magic words....I DO!

Say no to crack...say yes to fishing!!!

Auggie Dog

Lance · Post by **Lance** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 12:08 pm

Auggie Dog wrote:

Marrige is a give and take deal....she GIVES you grief about wanting to fish and you TAKE it because you said those two magic words....I DO!

Thats funny, but its not

Thank God my wife doesent tell me when I can go and when I cant, she lets me do what ever I want. But I sometimes have to be back for "family" stuff on Sunday

MN · Post by MN » Tue Sep 11, 2007 12:16 pm

Just learn how to do without it............................you know what I mean

Auggie Dog · Post by **Auggie Dog** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 12:19 pm

I wondered how long it would take for THAT answer to hit this thread!!!!!

Auggie

Dewayne · Post by **Dewayne** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 12:22 pm

When she starts saying "Honey, you have not been fishing in a while, why don't you fish Saturday", you only have about 6 months left before she files for divorce and wants 1/2 of your boat.

That is a sure sign she has found her a boyfriend to entertain her while you fish. A woman telling you to go fishing is always a bad sign.

Seriously though, finding the proper ballance is tough. You have to determine what it really is she wants. Does she want more time with you, does she not trust you while your out, does she not understand that a key to making a relationship work is for you both to be happy, or is it for you to get more done around the house. Figure out what she really wants and it is easier to figure out what compromises you can make to keep her happy while you fish. If you ask them directly, you wil almost never be told the real reason.

It can be tough. For my wife it is the feeling of being overwhelmed while I am away at tournaments for a week at a time. The week before a tournament I work my azz off to make her week without me as easy as possible. I make sure to leave money to drop the kids off at a play center so she can spend time alone or out with the girls. I have the grocery shopping completed. I make sure the house is clean. I gas up her car. I solve as many pontential issues as possible before I leave. I have learned that my wife does not have a lot of sympathy for how busy we are at tournaments. When I call, we talk about her and how things are going at home. If she asks, I tell her about my day, otherwise it is just her time to vent.

It also helps to have a schedule. As early as possible I get my wife a schedule of the days I have to fish the following year. This allows her to plan a similar schedule with days she needs me to watch the kids, family vacations, hair cuts/spa days (yea, they are a fishing expense), and etc.

PS - The idea of waking up at 5:00am ready to go also works. If she is not in the mood then get up and make a big breakfast/huge mess every weekend. Don't let her appreciate having you at home too much.

M. Warner · Post by **M. Warner** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 12:40 pm

well its not that tough, 2 engagements later and I am still fishing, then my new one tried this, and then i just booted her also but she came back with alot of understanding. Fishing is my time its what i love, its what i work for.

bassenvy · Post by **bassenvy** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 12:42 pm

my lady used to ask if I was goin' fishn' and now she asks which day? overnighters are a litte trickier but that is why they have the term "honeydo's"

give and take.

Sean Graf · Post by **Sean Graf** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 12:44 pm

Saltie,

This is a great question and I'm sure most of us have experienced it at one time or another.

First off, it's hard for me personally to answer the question because we're all different, and so are our wives, but I'll give it a shot.

What I would do is simply sit back and talk with her about it, find out exactly why it is that she's saying no. It could be a way for her let you know that there may be some sort of problem in the relationship, insecurities and such. Find out why she insists on NO, and once you find out, you'll have a better understanding of what's going on with her. That will be much better than just ignoring her and it will give you both the chance to open up and communicate with each other.

In this sport, many relationships are strained and many relationships are lost because of the time we spend doing what we love to do, and in my opinion, it's just not worth it. I remember a few years back, I invited Pat Dilling to come to our club meeting in Santa Clara and talk about Oroville, he did a wonderful job and the club guys really enjoyed him, but the thing I remember most was when he explained the 3 F's to us.

Family
Friends
Fishing

A few years back I was eating dinner with my family at Cooch's restaurant in Oakley, and I had the opportunity to talk with Cooch for a while, he asked what circuits I was fishing and at the time and I told him that I was planning on fishing 3 of them, he looked at me, then my family, then back at me and said thats ALOT of time away from your family, then proceeded to say that I should think about that because it can cause problems in our home. He asked how old I was, I said 34, he asked how old our son was, and I told him he was almost 3. He then said that when my son was 18, I would be 50, and I would have plenty of time to do what I wanted.

I took the advice from both Pat and Cooch, and to ME, that was the best decision I've made in my life, I still have a loving family, and although I don't fish as much as I'd like to, I am 100% ok with that.

If you care about your relationship discuss the issues before they get really bad. Let her know that you hear her and you're willing to listen.

Good Luck To You!

Sean Graf
www.motherlodelakes.com

Johnny C · Post by **Johnny C** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 12:49 pm

I stopped culling after four. Now I just practice catch and release!!!!

Ricky-S · Post by **Ricky-S** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 1:28 pm

This is a great thread. Maybe one of the best ones that I have ever read.

It's funny when you see a guy at a tackle store ask the cashier not to bag his stuff because he doesn't want the wife to find out.

I have been married for 6 years and I got married right out of college. My wife knew what she was getting herself into and the reason that I married her was because I knew that she was independent and would not smother me for my attention. I took my wife to a couple of tournaments early on and she wanted no part of it. She rarely asks to go fishing because it is not fun to her.

Dewayne hit the nail on the head. I try to find balance by taking several trips with my wife or flying in her relatives from Florida while I am gone for weeks at a time. It has to be a give and take. I have seen a number of angler get a divorce and a lot of it was because they didnâ€™t put the same energy and planning into their marriage as they do fishing. I made sure that I bought a house that is very close to my wife's sister so she has friends near when I am gone.

Correct me if I am wrong, but there also seems to be a difference between the people who fished before they were married and after, but thatâ€™s another story.

Between work and tournaments, I can be gone for weeks at a time. However, I make sure that during breaks (Thanksgiving, Summer and Christmas) I make sure that we go somewhere that my wife chooses.

I never ask my wife can I go fishing. I share my schedule with her while I am making it so that when I am home-I am home (I don't fish at all), However, when I am gone, I am gone.

Last of all, good luck.

Vince E · Post by **Vince E** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 1:33 pm

Bravo Sean
That's some of the best advice I've ever seen typed in a forum.
I'm very lucky in that my wife doesn't begrudge me hardly anything.
She's a divorced mother of two ( yes Tom, there is a market for women who are past the self-centered BS stage of youth and you just might find yourself in it someday) and appreciates that I spend most of my free time at home with her and the kids. Her last husband didn't.

PS Where is Cooch's restaurant?

Slippy · Post by **Slippy** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 1:41 pm

i dumped my first wife for this reason, my new wife knows that this is what i do, and she knew tis coming into the relationship.

Jason C. · Post by **Jason C.** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 1:45 pm

I usually try to spend more time with her during the week after work and on the weekend days I don't want to fish

How can you say such a thing?! Weekends when you DONT what to fish?! Who are you and what have ya dont with the real Auggie?!

Now Im not married(at only 18 no where nere it) But me and my girl friend have been dateing for almost 1 1/2 years. And the first thing I told her was that I love to fish is what I hope to do for a living. And if she tried to stop it...well...Im gonna miss her(I realize dateing is completly different from marrige but I would and will say the same thing when I get married) And if by chance I am lucky enough to beable to fish tournaments for a living I will take her on the road with me so as Im not leaving her back at home for over a week at a time!

BassManDan · Post by **BassManDan** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 2:02 pm

Tyler Brinks,
Does your girlfriend have a younger sister??

I've been holding out for one that'll fish with me, needless to say, not too many ladies come a callin'

Bass are just as important as taking out the garbage and puttign the dishes away!

BassManDan

Auggie Dog · Post by **Auggie Dog** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 2:05 pm

Jason.....Jason.....Jason...Oh to be 18 and single again.....

Yes young man, it is the real Auggie. I'm just, as my 14yr old would say,..."keeping it real"?!?!?!?!?

You are right, dating IS a lot different than being married but you should not be worried about that right now. You are in a position that most of us here that are well over 35 (some more that others...eh guys?) would love to be in again. I did not start bass fishing until I was 29 so I missed out on the time of my life where I could just go fishing whenever I had the time and money without the pressures of work and family and mortgages and....oh crap, now I'm getting depressed.

It sounds like you have a good girlfriend so hold onto her and just fish as often as you can. And the next time you swing a 5 lbr into the boat, think of us old farts and laugh you a$$ off!!!!

Auggie

SABP · Post by **SABP** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 2:16 pm

Balance family, work, friends and fishing. Hopefully friends and fishing are the same.

General rules:

1. Family comes first no matter what. I have cancelled several pro-ams weeks or days before the tournament to be there for the wife and kids.

2. I put all my tournaments and fishing trips on the calendar at least 2 months in advance sometimes much farther out. If its on the calendar there is no question where I will be that weekend and she will plan around me being gone and do something with the kids.

3. I always include the family at one or more tournamnets per year. The Clear Lake events are favorites and the whole family cannot wait to go there with me.

4. Often times I will decide to opt out of a tournament for one reason or another but will not take it off the calendar. As the weekend approaches she will say don't you have a tournament this weekend and I will say no, I think I will stay home and do something with you and the kids instead. Big points.

5. Communication is the key. Ask her why she does not like it when you go fishing. Tell here golf is much more expensive of a hobby and you are fishing to save the family money. Ok so that's a lie.

6. My wife understands and supports my fishing. (Very lucky to have her) That is the key to being able to fish and have a happy family life.

7. Make sure and give the support back when she asks for it.

Cooch · Post by **Cooch** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 2:29 pm

prioritizing the four "F"s of life, is quite the challenge. So as not ta "hijack" this thread, I'll stick to dealing with the Family and Fishing part asked here by Saltie.

Sean already hit upon some of my thoughts and advice. It's one thing when we take up a fishing career before we git involved in a relationship, that eventually leads to us getting married and having a family. When we choose to do this, it is our responsibility as men, to put our family first. There are a lot of bass fishermen, who have failed misserably at understanding this, and their marriages have been broken because the believe they love their fishing more than their mates, or they actually do. You have to make a choice, do I value my marriage more than my fishing? Remember, our fishing WILL always be there, the wives may not! Think about it.

Now, here's a sure fire way, ta git all the fishing time ya want. Agree with her in every aspect! Don't cave in to your thoughts and desires, just agree with her. When ya do this, her guard drops instantly, cause yer not fighting with her and her negative thoughts and emotions. This is a situation she feels she needs. She needs ta feel like she is in control. When ya argue, ya feed this need and it will only git stronger. It's a womans very strange way of negatively bonding with her man. You agree with her, that need is fullfilled instantly. Her attitude changes, she's won, she's in control. Then tell her, "Honey yer right, I do fish way too much, I don't need ta go tomorrow. What can I do ta help you out around here tomorrow?" Guess what, now she has that desire to argue with you, she has now lost control and is gonna say, "Hey, BS, yer wrong, you don't fish all that much, on second thought, why don't ya go tomorrow anyhow, I really don't mind."

Trust me, this agreeing with yer wife, spouse or teenage daughter, works fellas. Not just with fishing, but in yer every day lives. Agree with anything your mate says. Put a good name on it. Agree with her negative feelings. When a woman has a closed mind about her fishing husband, she is in love with her negative feelings. So she puts these negative feelings in charge of the door to her mind. And when you try to reason(argue) with her, you're telling her that her negative feelings are wrong. This only causes her negative feelings towards you and your fishing to lock the door tighter. Agree with her negative feelings, no matter what they are. "Yes, I do over fish and I am selfish", "Yes, I hopelessly spend all our money on my fishing." "Yes, I spend way too much time away from home. That''s exactly correct." Do not defend yourself. Just agree, sound sincere, be happy and SHUT UP!

You'll be fishing in no time! The key here, is ya gotta do this ALL the time, not just fer a week or short spell, but ya gotta agree with her 100% on everything! Don't ever defend yerself, she'll do it for ya! LOL Amazingly, this works and I can't thank Homer McDonald enough fer sharing this little insight to women with me.

And if there are any of you out there, that at this time find yerself in a very tough situation in regards to your spouse and marriage, and it's heading in a direction that you don't want it to, send me a PM, I've got some information that can really help ya out.

RipnRog · Post by **RipnRog** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 2:34 pm

I have enjoyed this thread. I was at one time as into bass fishing as one could be I was the president of the BASS federation and fishing 2 tournament trails and club tournaments at the same time. Needless to say I was not home much. Did I mention that I had a new born and a 3 year old at the time? I fished like this for a few years and I thought everything was going good. I mean sure my wife would say stuff like oh your going fishing this weekend or something to that effect but she never said no.

I ended up selling my boat one day and quiting fishing tournaments for a couple of reasons. I came home one day after catching a sack weighing 19.87 pounds and winning a Oroville draw tournament. I mean I killed everyone in that tournament made over 2000 and I was pumped. I walked in the door after backing the boat in and nobody got up off of the couch to greet me. I told them that I won the tournament and my family told me to hush as I was interfeering with the barny tape that they were watching. That was a rude awakening. To top it off my phone would ring 10 times a night with the federation stuff and I realized that my family needed me more than I needed fishing.

I still got out from time to time and had fun doing so. I am really happy that I did quit as I think I would never have the relationship that I do with my wife and kids. During my time off I hgot my kids into BMX racing and my daughter really took to it she ended up taking 3rd place at the World Championships and my son did real well until he hurt himself real bad and never raced again. We quit racing and my daughter started playing AAU basketball and she is a very good player. We travel all over the place and I love watching her and her teamates destroy teams. She about to start playing high school basketball and she is going to be on the JV team as her school does not have a varsity team until next year as the school just opened. I will not miss a game. I am coaching my sons basketball team again and I sit and play the xbox 360 with them just about everyday. I would not trade this time with them for any boat or tournament win.

My kids will be in done with high school in 6 years and I will buy a boat then and go fishing then. For those of you that put fishing before your family or wife you may want to staep back and take a look at what your doing.

Thank god I have friends like Marcel Colin, Corey Fenske and Lewis Milligan so when I need to go out fishing in a boat I can.

For now you can catch me on my pontoon boat fishing Lake Natoma catching monster small mouths. I can leave this lake and be home in 10 minutes.

Find a balance you guys your families will be glad you did. It is just fishing.

Jim Conlow Sr. · Post by **Jim Conlow Sr.** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 3:26 pm

Jim Conlow Sr. · Post by **Jim Conlow Sr.** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 3:33 pm

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 3:36 pm

Sorry Vince - I meant no dissrespect... but, that line always seems to get my friends out of the house!

Vince E · Post by **Vince E** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 3:50 pm

No offense taken.
I'm only mad cause no one will tell me the name and address of Cooch's restraunt

NaCl · Post by **NaCl** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 3:55 pm

Your post reminds me of that beer commercial where guys get crushed by giant beer cans for showing the least little bit of sensitivity. You told your wife you ARE going fishing tommorrow. Dumb! She told you "No!". More dumb! Sounds like your young marriage is already heading into dangerous water.

MY responsibility to marriage: I have been married for 35 years. I fish a lot and I would NEVER "tell" my wife I'm going fishing. I always say, "Honey, do you mind if I go fishing tommorrow?" or "I'm thinking about fishing a tournament in September. Does that work with your schedule?" If she tells me "no"...that she'd rather I not go...then she will also tell me why she feels that way. It might be that she has some couple stuff planned that I forget about. On a few occasions, she has just said she needs time together. That's okay...she's worth the sacrifice.

HER responsibility to the marriage: My wife would NEVER tell me "no" without a good reason. There have even been a few times when she said "okay" but I could hear some reluctance in her voice and I voluntarily didn't go fishing. Hey, I can go fishing any time. If she needs some time for "us", so be it.

Marriage is about "sharing" lives. Single is about NOT having to share. Somewhere along the way, you and your wife chose to give up the ME-life in favor of the WE-life. It better not be about either party imposing their will on the other. It's about sharing ALL decisions...yes, including fishing. But, if your relationship deteriorates to the point of a bunch of ME-power plays, then you may as well get divorced now before you get lots of assets and kids to hassle over.

So, you two need to sit down and talk about how to share in making decisions...or, open the Yellow Pages to Attorneys: Domestic Law!

Good luck!

.....NaCl

bassenvy · Post by **bassenvy** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 4:19 pm

Cooch wrote: When a woman has a closed mind about her fishing husband, she is in love with her negative feelings. So she puts these negative feelings in charge of the door to her mind.

so to trigger a night bite from a women in a negative feeding mode you always give her what she wants? j/k

well said Cooch.

Dan McKenzie · Post by **Dan McKenzie** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 4:21 pm

the resturaunt closed some time ago, I believe it called Fagen's. It is in the Raleys center on Hwy 4. Too bad you never got to try some of that marinara or spaghetti sauce.